Divorcing parents must work together to achieve effective coparenting. Regardless of the reasons adults may be getting divorced, it is not the fault of their children. However, children still suffer, often feel guilty and caught in the middle of two battling people that they love.
Child custody lawyers can ensure a parent’s rights are protected and that the court has all necessary information to make a reasonable ruling on child support payments, the allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time. It is up to the parents, however, to make an ongoing effort to minimize stress on children and provide a stable and healthy life for all children involved.
Consistent values for both households
Divorcing spouses will often disagree on many aspects of life. It is fine that children are exposed to different views, but they must have stability in their lives to feel confident with themselves and to develop their own identity. Divorcing spouses should agree to some core values that will be maintained in both households. Factors as simple as consistent rules on computer time and TV viewing help maintain each parent’s authority and can avoid many unnecessary arguments between the divorcing spouses.
Children are not a message service
It can be difficult for divorcing spouses to maintain civil communications with one another. Regardless, it is essential that both parties be able to put the well-being of their children ahead of their personal feelings. Using children to deliver messages potentially involves them in petty disputes and can lead to them being blamed if there is miscommunication. With modern technology like text messaging, email, and social media messaging, there is no need to involve children in communications.
Respect for former spouses, their family, and friends
Criticizing the other parent, their family, friends, or new partner accomplishes nothing positive. Children will have a difficult time adjusting to life after divorce. They need to feel safe and loved by people in both households. Accepting that their parents are not going to reconcile and are moving on to new partners can be one of the most difficult things for them. Parents should avoid venting their frustrations with other people in front of children or airing dirty laundry or disparaging their former spouse on social media.Children should not feel they have to choose one parent over the other, take sides in arguments, or feel guilty if they like and get along with either parent’s new partner.
