Divorce sometimes motivates a spouse to use unfair tactics to delay proceedings or hurt the other party. It is essential to recognize these unfair tactics and overcome them as the parties move toward a fair divorce settlement.
Games Hinder a Fair Settlement
Anger is a common part of the grieving process during a divorce. Left unchecked, anger can lead to unfair tactics that may create unnecessary stress and hinder reaching a fair divorce agreement.
Games People Play
Some spouses will do anything to hurt the other party in a divorce, gaming the system to retaliate and create stress for the other spouse. Such games often include:
A spouse empties shared bank accounts, even when there is no indication that they will be denied a fair settlement. The other spouse becomes responsible for bounced checks and unpaid bills. A similar tactic is to incur debt after the divorce process has begun, leaving the other party responsible for the bills.
One spouse refuses to commit to the terms of the divorce settlement no matter what the other spouse offers. The delay game includes tactics like:
- Agreeing and then changing their mind about details
- Arguing over trivial items
- Adding conditions after the other party has satisfied all of their demands.
Some will delay by waiting until the last minute to comply with court instructions. While these tactics can backfire, they are also costly and create unnecessary stress for everyone involved.
When a party to a divorce paints the other as entirely wrong and evil without just cause, they are playing the victim game. As the victim, they portray themselves as getting taken advantage of by the other spouse. In reality, there is rarely a distinct line with one person all at fault and one person the victim.
Playing the perpetual victim is often a way to exert power and control over the divorce proceedings and the other party. However, courts may see through the tactic if the other spouse can demonstrate that there has been no abuse or victimization.
Avoid the Games
It is a reality that some people do play games during a divorce. To overcome them, a family law attorney may recommend establishing clear goals and pushing forward to a fair settlement without responding to the games.